hallo, poppets.

freshman year is 13 days away from conclusion, and lately it occurs to me... what a long strange trip its been.
i can pinpoint two days (the beginning of senior year to about a week ago) where between the two the Casey most of you know and (hopefully) adore was replaced by an evil twin.

Her twin was confused, Her twin abused her body in almost every way imaginable, and did horrible things to people the old Casey loves.  She ignored everything in the old Casey's life, and seemed intent on driving herself face down into the stankyy pits of solitude and self-loathing.  When this evil twin version of Casey came to NYU, her high flying zeppelin hopes of it being awesome caught fire and fell smoldering to the ground when it was QUITE the opposite of awesome (for her at least).  Worst of all, this twin gave up poetry, judo, theatre, singing and bathing.

So this Casey had not so infrequent panic attacks, and was horrified to realize that the only people who could help her were not happy with being ignored.  Or they were tired of twin Casey's sour disposition.

Then, one night in January 2009, the ghost of the old Casey appeared to the new Casey and directed her to the Rutgers University and Rowan University transfer applications online.  Little by little, over the next few months, the old Casey found ways to wriggle back behind the wheel of her life. 


*************************************************************************************************************************

It's not a fairytale haha it doesn't have a happy ending.  These two years have taught me about fear and loathing and I've learned some interesting things about the physical limits of the human body and mind (honestly more than i'd recommend discovering for yourself haha you can read about it when they publish my biography in 50 years).  This situation is.... TOTALLY comparable to the IB track.
1.  you start with glistening hopes for the future and reap-able benefits
2.  you realize, with utmost horror, just what you've gotten yourself buried in
3.  you are so confused... soo confused.  you start blindly doing things (or not doing them) just to survive on a daily basis
4.  you become irritable and unfriendly
5.  you forget to do the things you love because you're so pre-occupied
6.  you feel like you're in the umpteenth layer of hell

and then...

7.  spring sprinkles a little hope on the dreary landscape
8.  you skip like a child after your last exam
9.  you get frustrated when you realize that IB isn't a big deal at college... nor does it give you a huge credit advantage
10.  you realize that IB was kinda worth the pain, because you can shit out a 7pg paper in under 2 hours

the old casey was frustrated that she wasted two years of her life being a daisy downer.  but now she knows how... not... to be a daisy downer... haha


get the picture?
let's summarize:  i had a really hard two years.  if i ignored or hurt you, i apologize.  this space cadet has returned.

 my life has changed more in the past six months than it has in the past ten years.

i feel refreshed and new.

awesome ^_^

 it's been a great week.  jk.

BASiC iNFO

name: Casey
nicknames: Case-Case
age: 18
birthday: 11/17
location: NJ bitches!
school/grade: Senior at WMMHS
backgrounds: Eye-talian, irish, native american, japanese
siblings: little (not so little really) sister
straight/bi/gay: straight as a line (unless i've been drinking aha)
job: Sally Lunn's!  the bane of my existance!

APPEARANCE
hair color: brown
eye color: blue-grey
height: 5'5"
ethnicity: AMERICAN ahaha
label: cracker
look like a celeb: carrie underwood?  haha
dye your hair: yo totallllly
have bangs: some strange permutation of them
have braces: non
wear glasses: non!
wear contacts: non!!
piercings: OMFG i like literally just got back from getting my first two holes in each ear!  super-cool!
tattoos: soon... soon.

FAVORITES
color: blue, green
movie: i hate questions like these!  my favorite movie is subjective to my mood
tv show: hmmm... iron chef.  ya, totally iron chef.  the original japanese one.
animal: animals are ok i guess... being allergic to them sucks haha
food: apples
drink: H to the O
alcoholic drink: i'm ashamed to say... mikes hard.  theyre so delicious!  you can't deny me that!
car: SCION TO THE MAX EXTREME... i'm a box-head
day of the week: Friday... durrrr
season: early fall
song: ................ What?
sport: judo
radio station: the radio is for old people haha 
resturant: the BK lounge
teacher: Mrs Brown is the shit haha but don't take that too literally
class: psychology!  cause we have snack days
holiday: halloween
quote: "cornpone country pussy" -Krendler
book: ................. what???
magazine: Vogue... some of that stuff is just crazy.  how can you not love it?
flower: hmmm cherry blossom or wysteria
memory:  my lifestyle has led to a poor memory
tv channel: comedy central usually has something good on... except for mad tv.... blech

LAST
person you hugged: Jessica
person you kissed: Michael
thing you said: "See you tomorrow"
thing you ate: hershey's kiss
imed: .... hmmm.... thats a toughie
texted: my sister
you called: Jessica
called you: Jessica
person you saw: Jessica
you have a long convo with: Michael

FRiENDS
best girl friend: Jessica, Megan
best guy friend: Michael, Patrick, Jay, Greg


THiS 0R THAT
summer or winter: summer.  summer.  summer. summmmmer.
dog or cat: cat
pepsi or coke: soda makes me burp.  alot.
cellphone or ipod: cellphone... i dont even have a working ipod-awhozits anymore
ocean or pool: ocean ocean ocean (bermuda bermuda bermuda!)
black or white: wtf kind of question?  blacks ok. whites ok.  i guess.  i'm not a racist!!
chocolate or vanilla: depends on what it is...
flowers or candy: flowers
rock or rap: haha i love them both for various reasons.  as long as its goood i don't care, survey.
tv or movie: i don't really have time for either anymore
aim or myspace: facebook haha livejournal.
stars or hearts: hearts stars and horshoes clovers and blue moons!  anyone?
bracelet or necklace: necklace
gold or silver: make new friends, but keep the old
brunette or blonde: brunette!  (i'm a traitor i know i know)
kisses or hugs: haha depends on who they're from.  hugs are easy.  kisses are hard.
pen or pencil: math requires a pencil, and i love derivatives THEREFORE pencil
lb or oc: ........ i'm not really sure what either of those things are

iN THE PAST MONTH
drank: nope
smoked: yup
failed a test: haha yeah totally but its Zegar
had sex: yes
been home alone: no, i havent really been home much
stayed home from school: no
been to the mall: as of 3 hours ago, yes yes yes!
bought a book: of course.  tout le temps.
been to a show/concert: battle of the bands... haha that doesnt count does it?
yelled at someone: every morning.
got into a fight/argument: yo totally haha
cried to a friend: yeah
told the truth: haha yea
told a lie: mais oui
been out of state: no... there are other states?  besides this one?  shiiiit

iN Y0UR R00M
tv: nooo :-(  i want somewhere to play FFX!
your own phone: cellular device
your own phone line: not unless you count the one connected to said cellular device
vcr: ..... no.
dvd player: no!  stop making me feel inadequite!
radio: yes... yaya ^_^
computer: laptop
posters: no
of what?: red paint.... 
pictures: yes
of who?: my friends... and mark buryk at a kingdom hearts convention haha

RELATi0NSHiPS
taken or single: shottied
got a crush: haha
name pleaseee: tell me YOUR name, horsemaster, and i shall tell you mine 
how far have you gone: all the way
how far do you want to go: back to the begining
last person you said i love you to: my father

C0UNTD0WN
10 PE0PLE WH0 MEAN A L0T T0 Y0U [not in order really]
1::: Jessica (bff, enough said)
2::: Michael (boyfriend, enough said)
3::: My father.... my idol
4::: the craziest person i've ever had to deal with on a regular basis (my sister)
5::: my best friend's boyfriend.  who also happens to be pretty cool (patty breznak)
6::: the person who taught me how to sleep (jay)
7::: everyone else i've ever met... you're all kind of cool!

9 THiNGS Y0U L0VE
1::: being a senior
2::: coffee
3::: friends
4::: thrift stores
5::: mary jane
6::: books
7::: playing pool
8::: apples
9::: driving my car

8 THiNGS Y0U HATE
1::: solitude... the bad kind of solitude
2::: awkward silences
3::: carrots and sweet potatoes.  and corn.
4::: money.  and all it entails.
5::: no sense of time
6::: being threatened
7::: having to pee badly
8::: losing things

7 THiNGS Y0U CAN'T LIVE WiTH0UT
1::: laughter
2::: sarcasm... in appropriate doses
3::: coffee
4::: my TI-84
5::: fire
6::: trust
7::: love

6 THiNGS Y0U'RE WEARiNG RiGHT N0W
1::: pajama pants, blue and green plaid
2::: red and grey striped shirt
3::: underwears
4::: bobby pins
5::: two new sets of earings!!!!! o joy o rapture!
6::: my dads socks

5 THiNGS Y0U'D RATHER BE D0iNG
1::: sleeping
2::: rollin' with my homies
3::: eating my grandmother's homemade meatballs.  cold.
4::: dying my hair... it needs it
5::: painting my nails... they're pathetic

4 0F Y0UR FAV0RiTE ST0RES
1::: forever 21
2::: borders
3::: victoria's secret
4::: yankee candle shop

3 THiNGS Y0U'D TAKE T0 A DESERTED iSLAND
1::: beer
2::: a live band
3::: towels

2 0F Y0UR FAV0RiTE SONGS [since I already answered my favourite, here are 2 more]
1::: "borderline" by sufjan stevens
2::: "Baby Don't Cry" by sxip shirey

1 PERS0N Y0U MiSS RiGHT N0W
1::: my grandmother...

The show is tonight.  I'm super excited.

Also, I got into NYU this week.
SWEET.

 ok so, update.
The Wizard of Oz.
moi.
The Wicked Witch of the West.

oh, yes.

It's weird to use my livejournal for something other than posting last-minute assignments...
But hello again, livejournal, and associated friends!
Here's a quick update on Casey's World...

Just today, with thirteen days left before the due date, I have finished my last college essay... A couple of minor revisions and they'll be ready to send off; thus ends a huge chapter in my life.  I realize that no matter which of my schools I get into (and I'm sure I'll get into at least one of them... although the number of denied early applicants in school has me slightly worried) I will be happy.  I really like all of them, the only prominent choice being NYU, and the others being Emerson, Concordia U, BU, and Vassar.  What I'm proud of more than anything is that I just did them, without any parental aid, by myself, on my own time.  No nagging, no fuss.  All me.  I feel like it was more effort than college itself will be. 

As of right now, I'm completely ready to let go and enjoy the rest of senior year, although it might be a little to early to be thinking about that.  Teachers are ever ready to tell horror stories about students who let themselves go completely and got their acceptance taken away... yo, that would suck so badly!  it really would!  I know myself, and I don't think i'll ever be relaxed enough to let that happen, but it would sure be nice if i could make myself that care free.  

Relationship-wise, things are incredable, except for some minor conflict with my parents about the meaning of a promise ring.  it isn't a wedding band.  it has just been a year, and regardless of our relationship, we're really close friends.  I think it's hard for them to accept that i openly love someone outside of my own family.  It's a weird enough feeling as it is.

Due to my not being able to go on Euro Trip, jessica and myself are planning an incredible road trip.  i currently wish nothing more than for it to commence, like, right now.  I'm sick of chester.  Sick of mendham.  Sick, sick, and ill from it.

I hope all of you are well, and are having a happy holiday season!!!

 

 

Chapter 5: The Bolsheviks and the October Revolution

Casey Moletteri

 

Why were the Bolsheviks able to rise from comparative insignificance before April 1917 to become masters of Russia by October?

 

      Essentially the Bolsheviks were able to rise from comparative insignificance before April 1917 to become masters of Russia by October because of three key facts about the state of Russia; the political and social turbulence that weakened the Provincial Government, the steadily growing Bolshevik popularity, and the careful organization of the Bolshevik party that allowed it to eventually take full advantage of its opponents and the population.  Before April 1917 the Bolsheviks were a relatively small part of the landscape of Russian politics, only consisting of a fraction of the Russian Social Democratic Labour Party, which is a deep contrast to their position as the ruling party of Russia by October of that same year, showing how transitive Russian politics were during the Russian Revolution,

       The weakness of the Provincial Government and its supporters was a pertinent factor in the Bolshevik takeover because it was the peoples’ mistrust of the Government that led them to turn to the Bolshevik Regime, One reason for the Provincial Government’s instability was in that it shared power with the Petrograd Soviet, which split Russian loyalties and made both governments appear argumentative instead of helpful.  The Provincial Government was also a strong supporter of the war; this meant a huge loss in popularity during times like the summer of 1917 when it launched an offensive attack against the Germans and Austrians in Galacia, which resulted in a huge number of casualties and desertions.  The Bolsheviks gained from the confusion that followed, as the Mensheviks’ and the Socialist Revolutionaries’ popularities were dragged down along with the Provincial Government due to their willingness to co-operate with it.  The disillusioned public became slowly more radical, thus looking for radical solutions that were to be found in the Bolshevik Party.  In this way, the Bolsheviks rose in the public eye not because they were better suited, but because they had not already betrayed the people they were meant to lead.

       Ultimately, without the decision of the masses to put their support behind the Bolsheviks, the Bolsheviks could not have been carried to leadership so quickly, or perhaps at all.

 Well i thought i would take the time tonight, since i've had four cups of coffee, to touch upon a point of nostalgia for some of you.  I've just returned from the first performance of the fall drama, and i think it went swimmingly.  Shawn Mullen, Michael Striano, a freshman named Maria, and myself were the leads (which worked out really well, although everyone in the show is rather good).  There were the few tiny messups, the odd shoe falling off, the toilet that didn't flush when appropriate, but other than that it was funny and enjoyable.

It bothers me that i've been so busy i haven't even had time to enjoy my favorite extra-curricular.  honestly, i thought of the whole thing as a bother until tonight when i remembered why i was doing it in the first place.  
Perspective is always important.

That being said, it has made me think fondly back on how much we all enjoyed each others' company during the play seasons.  it's something that i'm missing right now haha.  We haven't even figured Burger King out.

Anyway, i hope everyone had a good Halloween.

 so i've finally joined the club.
and at first i thought it was a huge mistake.
but it wasn't.
i'm retarded.
=D

i am on the verge of making a huge decision that will change who i am.
well maybe not change who i am, but change me.
the thing is, i understand i truly made this decision months ago, but still.
it's pretty big.

maybe i'm over-analyzing this.
i'm super excited, though.
i want everything to be more real.